Today holds a very monumental moment for me when I took that SQ25 flight from JFK-CGK on this very day last year. I still remember vividly that I woke up that last morning on a borrowed sleeping bag on top of the squeaking wooden floor in my room. Gathering the last pieces I had into my luggage (read: 7 luggage) and getting ready to be picked up in few hours. Felt so surreal but I was excited that the day is finally here.

Pushing away all the doubts I had in my head we drove off to JFK taking the beloved NJ-Turnpike. Driving through Manhattan, I felt this spasm on my body admitting to myself that I was saying goodbye to all this.

We arrived in JFK and it took no time to check-in all of my excess baggage at the check-in counter. We then headed to the terminal area where I had my last McDonald meal (Chicken McNuggets of course) before entering the boarding hall. Everything else after that was a blur.

This has been the hardest decision that I've made in my life thus far. I didn't know what was in store for me. I had zero expectations nor any certainty on what I will do once I'm back. All I know is that, it's time to move on to something else, and that something else at that very time was going back to motherland. Someone close once said that "Sometimes the only way to move forward is to go back". Very contradictory but somehow it made sense.

Hello - goodbye comes hand in hand in which I had learned that people do come and go. Sometimes it's due to unfortunate situations, sometimes we got busy and sometimes... you just move on with your life. Clearly, I cherish and appreciate those people stayed and who never left.

I spent the first 3 weeks reorganizing my (old) new bedroom that I never occupy since my house was built. Putting in my things into the wardrobe, familiarizing myself with everything in the house, reconnecting with old friends, etc etc. But it all got overwhelming very quickly. From the jet lag the culture shock, the depression, the big lifestyle change, it all hit me at once altogether. It was dark.

Going through so much, I decided to take a 2-week vacation break to Europe with my cousin. It was a great escape from everything that went on at the time. A much needed break and fun at the same time. (you can see few posts on this blog on my Euro Trip last year)

Coming back, I feel more refreshed, a little bit more focused than before. I started to track down my old friends back, making efforts to see them in my free time (like everyday free time). I also enrolled to a Pilates class that I go to 2-3 times a week. Taking care of my Dad at home with all the regular house chores - prepping meals, doing weekly groceries, and making sure he cuts down his instant noodle intake (seriously). For all I know I was the manager of the house hold. Way to utilize my management skills, right?

Two months passed, and as humans, we always wanted more. I wasn't satisfied with how I spent my time and felt like I was losing my edge. I'm not as sharp as I used to and that's not a good feeling.

So I started to actively looking for a job. I wanted something different, something fresh; I basically was craving to learn something new. Long story short, I finally took on a job offer from a company that its industry had never crossed my mind to enter, ever. I was intrigued for something new to learn. Fast forward 8 months I'm still here and is still learning. With all its perks, I am blessed to have easy access to travel, great team mates, meeting new people from across countries, and making new friends from different backgrounds.

I'm very grateful with where I am today but as humans (again) we always want something more. In fact, often times we want something we can't have. I guess we just have to wait for another milestone to be made and shared. Just wait for it.

In the meantime, I hope all of you have a blessed Sunday.

xoxo, Sari Soepono

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